Anything you can do, I can do better
by DeducingSherlockian
Summary: Jim comes back from being dumped by Molly Hooper, then dares Sebastian to see if he can do it better. Thank you iamthehounds for the prompt Mormor. (Please be kind this is only my second time writing fanfiction!)


Sebastian was draped lazily over the couch, eyes half lidded as he reveled in the peace and quiet. He sat up, stretching his heavy muscles, his back arching in an almost feline manner.  
_Tiger, Tiger_ purred a familiar Irish drawl.  
The sniper let out an exasperated sigh. Jim had only been gone a few hours, and Sebastian was already hearing voices. He mooched about the flat, tidying up Jim's paperwork, cleaning, anything to keep his mind distracted. Eventually he gave up, and settled back down on his couch. Well it wasn't really his couch, it was Jim's. Everything was Jim's- even Sebastian was Jim's. He didn't mind it, in fact he liked it that way. It wasn't what normal blokes did, but then again he and Jim weren't "normal blokes". Sebastian was still puzzling over this when the front door slammed open across the room. He whipped round, hand automatically reaching for the pistol in his back pocket.

"If I was a real threat you'd be dead by now." Said Jim, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Sebastian cocked an eyebrow at the disheveled criminal. His normally immaculate hair was rustled, his cheeks flushed, his teeth grinding as he strode into the flat. Sebastian cleared his throat awkwardly, he didn't want to provoke Jim lest he should lose his head.

"Uh Boss, everything ok?" He asked tentatively. Jim bristled before turning to face him .

"Yes. Of course it is. Everything's going according to plan." Jim said, his voice level yet deadly.

"It's just..you look a bit.."

"I look a bit what, Sebastian?"

"On edge?"

Jim opened his mouth, shut it, then raked his sniper with his piercing gaze. Sebastian repressed a shudder. There was something terrifying yet thrilling about Jim's ability to tear into your soul, and see you for what you really are. Seemingly satisfied with his inspection, Jim muttered,

"Promise you won't laugh?"

Sebastian was a little taken back, the words seemed strangely juvenile coming out the criminal's mouth.

"Course I won't laugh. D'you think I've got a death wish?"

"True." Jim smirked as he curled himself around Sebastian on the couch. He gently smoothed Jim's hair, and said as cautiously as he could,

"Well?"

Jim fidgeted restlessly underneath him, before getting up and pouring himself a drink. As he lifted the glass to his lips he muttered,

"Molly Hooper _dumped_ me."

Sebastian couldn't hold back a snigger as the words sunk in. _Molly Hooper had dumped Jim Moriarty. _Jim obviously heard him as he whipped round, letting out a feral hiss.

"Sebastian Moran, know this. If you are laughing at me, I will come over there and I will _skin_ you." He said, his voice no louder than a murmur, yet it still sent shivers down Sebastian's spine. Mischief flickered in Jim's eyes as he slithered back over to Sebastian.

"Apparently being a gay, criminal mastermind is a relationship dealbreaker." He scoffed.

"Not to me." Sebastian smiled, pulling the smaller man into his arms. Jim hummed happily in response, gently nuzzling his neck.

"So how long did it last? You and Molly?" Said Sebastian, his tone slightly tinged with jealousy. He knew Jim was just playing the game, but the idea of sharing him with anyone else set Sebastian's teeth on edge. Jim, observant as ever pulled back to look up at Sebastian through his long lashes. "Oh my, jealous are we Tiger?" He cooed, flashing a wicked grin.

"No of course not." Sebastian growled, refusing to meet Jim's laughing gaze.

"Come now Sebastian, you know it wasn't real. But to answer your question we were "together" for approximately a week. We went out three times. It was positively tedious." He said, his lip curling in disgust at the memory.

"Wow a whole week. You sure know how to treat 'em Boss." Sebastian teased, smiling as the little criminal glared up at him.

"As if you could have done any better." He sneered.

"Reckon I could have lasted longer than a week." Sebastian huffed, squaring his shoulders at Jim's snide comment.

"Prove it. I dare you to date Molly Hooper for at least eight days." Said Jim, his voice quickening as it did when a new game arose.

"Seems like a lot of effort. What's in it for me?" Yawned Sebastian as he sat the fidgeting criminal onto his lap.

"Anything you want."

Well a million ideas popped into Sebastian's head at that comment. But there was something. Something he desired more than anything. It'd been gnawing at him for a while now. He didn't want to pester Jim, but maybe...

"This...plan of yours. I'm fine with you chasing that detective bloke all over London. I know he got in your way. Hell, I'll even put my life on the line to put him down. But...Jim, promise me one thing? Promise me when the final problem comes, which it will, you won't...die. I can't lose you." Sebastian rushed, his cheeks flushing slightly as he nervously eyed Jim. He seemed stunned at first, then his face softened.

"Sebastian I... I didn't realize you thought about that. Well of course, if I really mean that much to you. I'm stayin' alive". His mouth tilted up into one of his rare, genuine smiles. It quickly passed though as his mind flicked back to the challenge.

"Eight days. No cheating. If you lose..well lets hope that doesn't happen shall we? For your sake." He warned, his eyes glowing darkly at god knows what punishment was forming that brilliant mind of his. He leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on Sebastian's lips, before leaping up from his lap. As he sauntered over to their bedroom, he turned back and gave his sniper a mischievous look.

"The game is on, _Tiger_."


End file.
